Everywhere we look on blogs, YouTube, and social media we hear about how this or that new schedule will change our life and make us 222% more productive.
I’m here to call that bluff. No, a new schedule will not change my life as a stay-at-home mom. It won’t make me happier, more fulfilled or more productive.
Also, a schedule will NOT make your baby happier.
Look, I get it. Some people, some moms and babies thrive on schedules, structure, and sameness. Not me. Not my babies either. Maybe not you either? Or maybe you’re just reading this out of curiosity about where I’m going with this wild idea of not using a schedule.
Schedules make us feel stress and pressure. That we have to complete certain tasks at certain time, within a certain time limit. And if we don’t, we’ll be off schedule and late for the next thing.
And don’t even get me started on putting babies on a schedule. Do we really expect our tiny humans to only get hungry or sleepy according to a schedule? This is not a healthy expectation, and the science even shows that it can negatively impact our baby’s cognitive development (link to the study).
Even empty spaces in schedules can cause stress, because then you’re left wondering did I forget something? Or what am I doing with my life and why do I have so much free time?
So, today I’m stirring up a controversy and making a list of why I don’t do schedules and why I don’t think you should either.
Here are five reasons to ditch your stay at home mom schedule:
#1: Schedules are a waste of time.
It takes twice as much time to make a schedule and list out everything you need to do than it does to actually get those things done. So why not save time and just do the things?
I know, the argument here could be, Well, what about appointments and/or meetings? Sure, of course, write those down. Put it in your phone calendar, set a reminder, or use a sticky note. But, be real- putting your appointments on a calendar is a lot different than living your life by a schedule.
#2: Schedules are a waste of money.
This maybe a bit harsh. But for a lot of us it’s reality, myself included. Many of us stay-at-home moms live on a budget. Why waste more money on planners?
Bright, shiny planners, schedules, free printables and fancy Etsy printables- I love them all! They’re so full of possibility, and the promise of living that organized mom life.
There are some really beautiful, helpful planners and printables out there. But they will not help you, unless you are a planning type of person and enjoy that kind of stuff and I’m guessing you’re not or you wouldn’t be spending your time reading this crazy blog post. (I am definitely not that kind of person.)
What actually happens when we buy the sparkly planner? We get excited, motivated, and inspired. We fill them out for a day or two, maybe even a week or two.
Then, they collect dust.
That shiny, pretty planner that motivated us to get our shit together just adds more to our to-do list, more to the chaos of life, more clutter to our home, and it collects dust.
Ok maybe not all of us do this. But come on, I know I’m not the only one.
#3: Schedules cause stress.
I know, schedules are meant to make your life easier and more organized. But for me, they just don’t.
As a mom of three, it’s a struggle to do things on time and with time limits. I feel rushed, which makes my kids feel rushed. And there’s the constant worry of getting behind when using a schedule.
Instead, I rely on routines. A good morning routine
#4: Schedules cause guilt.
Oh, I should be doing [insert whatever mundane cleaning task or chore here].
But, I’m already late. Or I don’t have time right now. Or I can’t because my baby is sick and needs extra cuddles. Or even I am just burned out at the moment, and don’t have the energy.
I made this cleaning schedule or this daily schedule of how my day and week will be organized and I can barely stick with it for one day, two days, or maybe it’s not even a full day. Maybe it’s a struggle to even do the first task because of overwhelm or lack of energy.
So, now I feel guilt and shame.
Does that guilt about not keeping a schedule help us live our best mom lives? No, I think not.
It just weighs us down more.
#5: What to do instead?
Ditch the schedule. It’s not going to change your life. At least, not in a good way.
Instead, create flexible routines and a daily flow. But don’t unnecessarily put time constraints around routines and to-do’s.
Prioritize your must-do’s. A cheap, easy way to do this is with sticky notes. Write down your top three things that need to get done. This will help keep focus, without the overwhelm of long lists or schedules. Using the notes app on your phone is another cheap and easy way to do this.
Understand that it’s ok to slow down. Productivity is great. But sometimes we need to pace ourselves. If we’re full speed all the time, we will crash and burn. And we’re moms. We can’t crash and burn. Our families need us.
Be present. We’ll always be moms, but this season of being a stay-at-home mom is temporary. So, take some time during each day to ground yourself and just be in your body. Be in this time, be in this space, be in this season of motherhood. Life can throw so many things at us moms, and it can be really hard. But we need to remember the age our babies are today, only lasts for today. Every day they are growing and changing. We blink, and our babies are adults.
Accept that you can’t get it all done. Doing all the things and getting it all done is not a thing. Unless you have the resources to hire help. Probably lots of help. A housekeeper. A babysitter. A life coach.
So, do schedules stress you out too? Or have you found one that works for you? Let me know in the comments below!
I hope you found this helpful. And I hope you have a beautiful day!
