I quit this blog last year.
I made my first $4 and quit.
Part of it was due to responsibilities of motherhood. Part of it was covid-19 and worry and fear around how our lives were changing.
But, part of it was also due to perfectionism. I was trying to create a perfect mommy blog, with perfect content – like a lot of mommy blogs. Not a mommy blog that’s authentic and true to me.
It was so frustrating because I spent way to much time proofreading, editing and obsessing over my word choices at a time when I should have been focused on just creating fresh content and connecting with other moms on social.
What an f-ing long year.
I think I understand writer’s block now- fear. It’s all fear of not being perfect, or even for of not even being mediocre. I’m sure it’s not like that for everyone, but I think a lot of us really do get stuck in our fear. What a soul-sucking place to be stuck. Anxiety and worry from one thing, seem to just steal your brain, spilling over into all the things.
I worried that I suck at writing, but then I worried that I actually suck at everything. I worried about my kids, my pets, my family, the weather. The fear and worry is like, ” Oh, you are really good at worrying about this. Here’s 50 more things for you to dwell on and bite your nails over.”
They say a little bit of worry and fear is healthy, it shows that we care, right? But when it takes over your mind, and becomes your primary feeling NOT HEALTHY.
At the start of this year, I realized worry and anxiety were becoming into my primary emotion. Covid seemed to be never ending, I was eating like crap and gaining weight, and my homeschooled kids were so over homeschooling. The days were long and life just felt hard.
I knew something had to change.
So, I did what I do best in times like these. Read motivational and inspiring self-help books. I know that sounds really lame, but sometimes the only thing we need is a little positivity and a push back to the right path.
Reading these inspiring books reminded me that because of being anxious, I had not only neglected my mind, but also my body. So, I got my eating back on track – mostly whole foods and plant-based – and I started working out again.
We all know healthy diet and exercise are way easier said than done. Change is never easy, especially when it involves really hard work every day. Working out every day, after working out once or twice a month is a big change. Eating plant-based when you love cheese, HUGE change. It was work, really hard work. But I knew I could do it. I knew I had to do it, if I wanted to feel better and live my best life.
After only 30 days of mostly healthy eating and consistent workouts, I was feeling it. It was hard building exercise into my daily routine, but I was super proud of making it through 30 days of workouts. My body was feeling more energized and stronger, my mind was feeling happier and calmer.
After 60 days, it still wasn’t easy, but something strange started happening. On many days (not all 😉 ), I found myself looking forward to my workout time! On the days I didn’t exercise, I found myself craving it, craving the sweat, and most of all craving the happy endorphins you get after.
Now after six months, I’m feeling so much more like myself again and I’ve realized I need the exercise and healthy food just as much for my mental health as I do for my physical health. My mind feels so boosted after I work up a sweat, even more so than after an espresso.
My intention here isn’t to persuade anyone they need eat plant based and work out regularly to feel good – I think all of us already know that. But I do want to point out that if you’re feeling stuck or anxious about life, making these changes WILL make a difference.
Anyway, I’ve made these big changes with diet and exercise and now I’m feeling ready for more. I’m feeling strong and mighty, and ready to let go of all my fear around writing and perfectionism. You can never completely get rid of fear and worry, but you can shrink its voice and understand that your strength is bigger than any fear or worry could ever be.
This blog and the content I write is not perfect, probably not even be mediocre, but it’s REAL. What I write here is authentic, true to my heart, and it just makes me happy. Why would I quit something that I have so much fun doing?
So, now that I’m here and unquitting this blog I’m wondering if you have any content suggestions for me? Anything you’d like to read more about in the realm of semi-crunchy parenting or being a stay-at-home mom? Let me know in the comments below, or send me an email!
Thanks for stopping by! Have a beautiful day!
