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Two of my three kids hated their car seats – HATED. With my first car seat hater, I coped with the avoidance method. In other words, I avoided driving and bringing my little one anywhere unless it was absolutely necessary.
When I had my third baby, I realized again I had a car seat hater on my hands. I knew it wasn’t practical to stay cooped up at home all the time- I would lose my mind! Also, I know this phase can last sometimes until they’re big enough to forward-face – which is not recommended *until they outgrow the height/weight limits of their car seat, and that is not for a very long time, especially if you have the Graco Extend 2 Fit Convertible Car Seat. But that’s actually a good thing because the longer we keep our little ones rear facing, the longer they stay better protected if there’s a car accident.
*FYI: The AAP just updated their car seat recommendations.
Also, not driving anywhere is no longer an option because my two older kids are in school, and we have car pool, sports, doc appointments, grocery shopping, etc.
So, what did I do to make car rides more bearable for my baby and myself (besides the obvious of making sure baby is fed, well-rested, and clean diaper)?
1. Understand that it’s not baby’s fault.
I know this seems simple and unimportant, but it helps! If we understand that it’s not their fault, we have more empathy and patience to figure out what is causing so much angst.
Because it could be any number of things that bothers baby, some may not even be related to the car seat or being in the car:
- hunger/thirst
- teething
- gas or reflux
- itchy clothing or diaper
- sickness
- too hot or too cold
- the material or buckles doesn’t feel good on their skin
- over-stimulated or under-stimulated
- uncomfortable positioning
- sun is too bright
- sound is too quiet or too loud
- weird smells may also be a bother
- Motion sickness
Or the biggest cause: Separation Anxiety!
Our babies don’t like being separated from us. We are their favorite person and they want to be close to us. All. The. Time.
Really though, it could be any of these issues, or a combo of things that are bothering them. Some of these issues seem minor, but when we understand the causes, it’s easier for us to keep calm, show sympathy, and give comfort, instead of adding our own stress to baby’s stress and frustration.
2. Ride in the back seat next to your baby.
This can give a little more perspective about what might be bothering your baby.
- Does it feel comfortable temperature wise?
- Is the sun coming in and making it too hot or too bright? (These are the shades I use in my backseat. They stay on well and keep my little one from overheating.)
- How’s the music volume? The volume of your music perfect as the driver, but maybe it’s too loud in the back. I’ve noticed the bass in my car is louder in the back seats, and does bother my kids sometimes if I don’t adjust it.
Also, notice if your baby stays calmer with you next to him – the car seat issues, again could just be separation anxiety because he can’t see you when you’re sitting up front. Sometimes adding on a baby car seat mirror can help with this when you’re driving, and the mirror also gives baby something interesting to look at.
3. Invest in a few special toys just for car rides.
I have several toys set aside specifically for car rides, and I rotate them periodically. Having a new toy for each car ride can help a lot.
Some of my babies’ favorites include:
- O Ball Flex ‘n Go Activity Arch : This activity arch is so great! It can hook onto the car seat or stroller or even a high chair. Then, you attach whatever toys you would like. Just make sure it can be hooked securely because it may not work for every car seat.)
- RePlay Activity Links: These links are great because they’re made in the USA from recycled milk jugs. The activity arch comes with a few links, but having extra is so useful! You can make the chains longer and they’re such a great sensory toy by themselves.
- Lamaze Freddie The Firefly and Lamaze Captain Calamari : Both favorites for my babies. They’re bright and colorful, with different textures, and they clip onto your car seat handle with the links shown above.
- Manhattan Winkel Rattle and Teether: Such a cool looking teether, and the little loops are so soothing for babies gums. It will also clip onto the carseat with those BrightStart links.
- Nuby Silicone Teethe-eez Teether with Bristles, Includes Hygienic Case : This one was their favorite teether! And I loved it because it came with a case to keep it clean.
4. Use audible distractions: different songs/styles of music or white noise.
Sometimes music helps little ones stay calm during a car ride. Your baby may especially love it if you sing to them yourself – they are used to your voice and prefer it over all others.
Or you can just turn on some tunes with Pandora or Spotify. There are so many music choices besides the usual baby/toddler music. Although, I try to stick to music that is happy and upbeat, or calming and relaxing – I save Snoop Dogg for when I’m by myself or while baby is sleeping 😉
Other times baby might prefer white noise over music. There are some great white noise apps. Also, YouTube has videos of vacuum sounds, ocean waves, or any other white noise you can think of.
I’ve also resorted to making my own white noise at times by making the sound “wow” over and over. I know this sounds super weird, and your going to feel a little loony if you try this, but for some reason it worked almost every time my youngest started flipping out during car rides.
5. When all else fails, upgrade to a convertible.
I know it’s not always convenient to upgrade, but once both my car seat haters switched to a convertible car seat, car rides went a lot smoother. I don’t know if it’s because they were up higher and could see better – although, I wouldn’t think the view would be that much different, as they’re still rear facing – or if it was because the new car seat was more comfortable, but when I did make the switch I wished I had done it sooner.
I tried out a few different convertible car seats for my little guy, and without turning this post into a review of all of the car seats, I’ll just let you know we went with the Graco Extend 2 Fit. My little one seems so comfortable in it, and I love all of the safety features and the way it easily adjusts as he grows. It also supports rear-facing until 50 pounds, which is higher than most convertible seats. And most importantly, my little one went from car seat hater to car seat tolerater – he’ll actually play and relax, and sometimes even sleep in the car now.
What about separation anxiety?
Separation anxiety is usually a big factor of babies being unhappy in the car. They have to be rear facing and strapped in to a contraption too far from mama, and it stresses them out.
A few ideas to help with this:
- Install a car seat mirror, so they can still see you.
- Talk to your baby. Let her know, you hear her and are still closeby.
- Sing baby’s favorite songs.
Okay, well I guess I only have three ideas to help with this. But, there isn’t much else you can do safely while you drive, right?
It is HARD when you’re baby hates his car seat, but you are a mom – a damn good mom! Especially if you made it all the way through this long post about how to help your baby deal with car seats! And you will figure this out.
There is light at the end of this car seat hating tunnel!
Also, I know this is such an overused phrase for this season of life but, “This too shall pass.” Your little one will develop, grow and eventually be okay with riding in the car.
How does your baby feel about his/her car seat? Feel free to share your tips and tricks!
