(This a post I wrote months ago but due to mom life and procrastination I’m just now publishing it 😉 )
I started writing this post last night, as I lay on my side in bed with my little dumpling snuggled up in the crook of my arm, and firmly latched onto my boob. My free hand was strategically trying to keep hold of my phone, while tapping out a post with one thumb. I quickly realized that this was not only a bad idea because of how uncomfortable it was, but also because the phone almost slipped out of my hand and onto my baby’s head.
So I put my phone away (shoved it off the bed onto the floor), and snuggled my little dumpling.
As I lay there in the dark, snuggling him, I decided to just be still. I listened to the sound of him breathing and swallowing (and also the sound of the cricket that was trapped somewhere in the basement), I marveled at the feel of his tiny body cuddled against mine, and I thought about how grateful I am to be right here, right now. How grateful I am, for his health and for my health, and how grateful I am to have made it so far breastfeeding.
He turns one in three weeks, and that means I have breastfed him for a full year. I am SO SO proud of that!
Those early weeks were hard, so hard- issues with latching, tongue-tie, low blood sugar, painful nipples, engorgement, and mastitis. He is my third baby, and I did breastfed my other two children, but even with that experience and wisdom, it was still a struggle.
But now we are three weeks away from that one year mark. And I can’t help but think that even with all of the stress, all the pain, and all the anxiety, it has been totally, completely worth it just for these sleepy nighttime snuggles.
So if you’re stressed out and struggling with breastfeeding, I get it. Breastfeeding is hard. Breastfeeding feels like climbing a mountain with a 20 pound bag of wiggly jello and there’s stumbling and tripping and backsliding three steps for every two steps forward.
But when you get to that clearing, that open space of your mountain where you can stretch out, rest, and enjoy the view and enjoy your chunk of wiggly jello you’re going to realize that this journey was totally, completely worth every struggling, stumbling step.